Eternity

2012-01-28T08:48:00.000-08:00

Have you ever felt so complete yet in the same time so empty ? A weird feeling it is , but a feeling it is . I feel absolutely thankful for all the great things life has granted me . I'm pursuing the course of my dreams , I have a great family , a wonderful boyfriend , and most importantly my source of loud and excited screams , my best friends . But you know , in the midst of all the perfection , something , I really have no idea what is it exactly but something is definitely missing and love isn't it .

2012-01-25T00:26:00.001-08:00

“ The length of your recovery is determined by the extent of your injuries . And it’s not always successful . No matter how hard we work at it . Some wounds might never fully heal . You might have to adjust to a whole new way of living .

Unexpected

2012-01-21T05:48:00.000-08:00

You know when you meet this one person , and every part of you tells you , - Oh I'll marry or love him for a long time , I just know it , I can feel it - . Life , isn't very much like that . Its the other way round entirely , its full or surprises , for me at least it is . Unexpectedly , someone else walked into my life . Never have I imagined he , of all people would blow my mind . Honestly , I haven't heard the nicest things about him and did I misjudge him ? Yeah I did at first but when a phrase tells you to - never judge a book by its cover , take note of it . Never judge. I have learned my lesson .

He , swept me off my feet , took me to a whole new beautiful place . It was indeed lovely . There was so much love to share . He stood by me when things got rough . He assured me everything was gonna be fine . Somewhere in between all the laughter , late night skype calls , lunch , breakfast , dinner dates , tears and hugs , I fell in love . And as for now , I'm very happy where I am . With Mohammed Azmir Khan bin Aslam Basha Khan .

She really did .

2012-01-10T07:54:00.000-08:00

" You did not shower did you ?! " the first thing she said to him after so long besides spending hours talking on the phone of course . " Well .... I did , but .... okay " he joked . She wanted the world to swallow her for that , but that was their relationship . It was nothing formal . It was build with insults and never ending jokes . She loved it that way . " Hi .... " she said as she tilted my head a little to the right and smiled . " Hello ! " he laughed . All she wanted to do was hug him tight and if possible never let go . How long has it been since she last saw him she thought to herself , with the exams and she herself for her own reasons was avoiding him , it felt like years . She breathed in heavily as the familiar smell made her feel like home .
" So .... , anything different ? "
" Well , other than that the garden is now purple in color , uhh not really no "
" Purple ? Well I think the garden is green but yeah its purple there . " he smiled like he always did . The smile that made her fall in love the first time they met . She walked into the living area and he took her into the TV room . Again , the smell . Oh how she loved it . It was a mixture of old books , new furniture from Ikea and well just stuffs . He sat on the couch as she stood by it .
" Move a little will you ? " she said annoyingly .
He looked at her , smiled and moved to the left a little . Compared to him , she did not need much space .
As they were watching a game show that she has never heard off , she came out loud " OH MY GOD THIS IS A SCAM ! "
" No it isn't , why is it a scam ? "
" You barely win anything with the amount of tax you have to pay and you humiliate yourself on national tv ! "
" But its still something " he said positively
" Ugh I can't believe what a scam this is and no one gives a shit "
" Why is it a scam ? " he said calmly then messing up her hair .
" It just is "

They watched it until the end where the couple in the game show finally to her ' won ' was it a hundred and twenty five thousand ? Or worst , twenty five thousand ? She couldn't be bothered . He turned the television off and got up . She sat there alone for less than a minute still believing it was a scam , got up , switched off the fan and walked to the room .

" I've got work at 12 " he said as he saw her walking in .
" Yeah , you told me "
She then set her car keys and phone next to his before walking lazily to where he was , as usual , almost asleep on the blue bed .
" Ugh come on .... "
" Aww come next to me " he said with the voice she knew she could never say no to .
" You lazy little whatever you are "
" You mean incredibly handsome boy ? "
" You wish ! " as she sat next to him .

She had always loved him for his jokes , although she never admits it . But deep down , she knew he knew that his jokes made her laugh however disgusting they were .

He messed up her hair more and more as time flew by their window , and she , she fell more in love by the second . Nothing could beat what they had with them , purely joy and happiness .
" LET ME DOWN NOW !!! " she screamed her lungs out as he lifted her around the room . He always found her rather loud , he laughed , put her down gently and smiled . They wrestled , they hugged , the kissed , they argued , they turned their back on each other , they teased , they made up , they .... were perfect for each other .

There was never a day she thought she could live without him , and if she had too , she would live with these memories . She knew deep down despite being in countless relationships , nothing was as magical as the one she had now . It wasn't a flawless feeling , it definitely wasn't . Once in a while when she has dinner alone , when she stares into a blank piece of paper or a screen , it frightened her how much one can love , and one can lose .

" Hey ! "
" Ugh what ?! "
" What is it ? "
" Nothing ... Don't you have work at 12 ? "
" I DO !! "
" Why aren't you ready ? " she giggled .
" I shall get ready now ! " he hurried to the bathroom turned back and walked towards her , messed her hair up and went on .
" Typical " she thought to herself .

The next fifteen minutes was too good to be true . He got ready for work , she fixed his shirt , complimented on how handsome he looked and sent him off . She loved him . She really did .

Until we meet again in 2014 ...

2011-12-21T00:54:00.000-08:00

American Idol runner-up David Archuleta broke down in tears as he revealed his plans to take a break from his singing career to serve a two-year proselytizing mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
The contestant from the 2007-2008 season made the announcement during a Christmas concert Monday in downtown Salt Lake City . The 20-year-old Miami native, who grew up in Murray, Utah, said he's not quitting music, but feels a strong call to serve the church.

If you could see me now

2011-12-20T20:24:00.000-08:00

“ When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound . When a window shatters a table leg breaks or when a picture falls off the wall it makes a noise . But as for your heart when that breaks its completely silent . You would think as its so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world or even have some ... Read Moresort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell . But its silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain . If there is a noise its internal . It screams and no one can hear it but you . It screams so loud your ears ring and your head aches . It trashes around in your chest like a great white shark caught in the sea it roars like a mother bear whose cub has been taken . That's what it looks like and that s what it sounds like a trashing panicking trapped great big beast roaring like a prisoner to its own emotions . But that's the thing about love no one is untouchable . ”

Bundle of memories

2011-12-20T20:14:00.000-08:00

He was gone and he would never be back . That was the reality . She would never again run her fingers through his soft hair , never share a secret joke across the table at a dinner party , never cry to him when she got home from a hard day at work and just needed a hug , she would never share a bed with him again , never be woken up by his fits of sneezes each morning , never laugh with him so much her stomach would ache , never fight with him about whose turn was it to get up and turn the bedroom light off . All that was left was a bundle of memories and an image of his face that became more and more vague each day .

How can you say yes when your heart is saying no ?

2011-12-05T00:50:00.000-08:00

Completed ( Pictures of Lily by Paige Toon ) . It is definitely a great novel , might just end up reading it all over again . Occupied me for approximately 36 hours . Although the ending was not to my liking , the rest of it was thumbs up .

If you were wondering what the novel is all about , well ,

Ten years ago when Lily was just sixteen , she fell in love with someone she really shouldn't have fallen in love with . Now , living in Sydney and engaged to another man , she can't forget the one that got away . Then her past comes back to haunt her and she has to make a decision that will break her heart - and the heart of at least one of the men who love her .

2011-10-24T20:48:00.001-07:00

I cant go back to where I used to be

2011-10-24T20:42:00.000-07:00

2011-10-04T02:45:00.000-07:00

“I vow to love you and no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find a way back to each other.”

Madness

2011-09-20T02:54:00.000-07:00


You were like a burst nicotine , and I've never held a cigarette to my lip . All my life , I have never felt so attached to anyone , until two years ago , in the most unexpected place , I met you . Such a pain in the ass , but as much as tried to not like you , I fell in love with you . Beautiful eyes , beautiful hair , beautiful you . I can't entirely explain what it felt like , but it was unusual , you were unusually perfect . If that even make any sense , but yap , unusually perfect . Somewhere in me , I have this crazy belief where I don't think I was meant to not be with you , you know you are meant to be significant in my life . Every time I try to pull myself away from you , from the madness of being with you , its would be an obvious attempt doomed to fail . You either know how to get to me , or its just God telling me to stop running away and try going for a walk in the park instead . Being in love , with you , is suicide , but I might just .... like it . I don't know .

Things that set you free

2011-09-20T02:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder what will I do if I fall in love . The real love—not one of those fleeting kind of love . The love that makes other girls swoon with too much affection , obsession , and even possession of the one they love . The love that makes other girls’ hearts beat faster until they can no longer take the rapid beating that they try to leap with the love that has been contained inside it . Will I arise from the tomb of my loneliness , and give in to the works of fate ? Or will I succumb in my grave , and guard my heart from the unlikely fate that has faced me ?

2011-09-07T06:44:00.000-07:00

You left me hanging from a thread we once swung from together
I’ve lick my wounds but I can’t ever see them getting better

Malaysia's very own smurf

2011-09-01T03:19:00.000-07:00

Few days back , for the very first time , Adam and I skyped . It was awkward at first but , as we kept talking , it felt ok . I like it . Got to see Adam's mum from his camera too ! So cute :3 . Hmm & Mummy , as in my mummy skyped him too not for a minute or two but almost ten minutes , from my account of course . That was very much sesat into the valley of awkwardness but again , I liked it (:

Selamat Hari Raya everybody , Maaf Zahir dan Batin (:

2011-09-01T00:45:00.000-07:00

Well spent Saturday .

2011-08-23T06:03:00.000-07:00

After months and months of endless worrying and constant disappointments , my last Saturday was pure joy . Thank You Ranjeesh , Nat , Justin and yes Uncle Koh , Nat and Justin's father .
The day started of with lunch as usual , We drove to Strawberry Field , it was Ranjeesh's first time there and he loves it already , well who does not love Strawberry Field after all . We then had Ice cream in Baskin Robbins , which was a blast too , shared two different flavours , super yummy . I worried no more by then , I was busy laughing and having the time of my life . Ranjeesh , is great , love him to bits . Since we had the entire day to ourselves , we got a few donuts to go at a cafe nearby too . See why he calls me Cookie Monster ? (:

Ranjeesh then drove back to his house for a bit to change for Golf and we went to Glenmarie , * yes Ranjie Boy you looked handsome :/ * just so you know , I don't do Golf very much but I must say , I like it now although I am really really bad at it , Ranjeesh will tell you how bad , Nat can too .

I tried playing , once and yeap that was about it for the day . I'll try Golf some other day , maybe when I'm wearing , uhhhh shoes ? Instead of flip flops . HAHAHAHA . Nat explained to me a lot about the game and I get it now , well a little . But i'll get there , soon . I have tons of pictures but I will upload it when I get a hold of my USB , sorry !

Until the USB decides to show up , xo

Lookie

2011-08-08T02:24:00.000-07:00


Was ? I still don't know what I'm waiting for actually , but I miss you* a lot , probably more than I should*